Why your spouse is wrong about money
Nearly every time I sit with a couple for their first coaching session, I run into the same issue. It’s extremely common and extremely problematic, but few couples know it exists…much less how to fix it.
When you struggle to gain traction with your money, you often find a lot of “reasons” to blame it on. Often, low income levels or high debt loads are the named culprits. But seldom are they are the real cause of the problem. Some folks say they aren’t able to stick to a budget, or their living expenses are maxing out their paycheck.
Still, that’s often times not the root of the battle. These problems are the external symptoms that are magnified by the core issue. And don’t get me wrong- controlling expenses, reducing debt and increasing your income will always benefit your overall financial plan. They just won’t completely solve the problem.
No, the problem isn’t how you much money you make, or spend, or your method of management. It’s your attitude toward it.
The issue is that the husband and wife are not on the same page for how they view money and view their future. Sure, they may both want to pay off debt and have more money in the bank, but what is their desire for doing that and what are they willing to do to accomplish it?
If couples don’t have a unified vision and focus, they will never achieve their desired level of success. One will be more willing to save or spend money than the other and one will be more willing to delay success in the future in order to enjoy the present. Together, they will never work in true unison, but rather in constant compromise. The result is inner frustration, lack of focus and slight resentment to the situation.
Ever been there?
You and your spouse both want the same thing ultimately, but you just can’t get on the same page on why and how. You are more interested in budgeting and saving, but your spouse just knows they need to work to pay the bills and doesn’t want to mess with managing the money. So they work, you manage and every expense outside of daily necessities is debatable. You both want financial freedom, but the method of attaining it is different. And whenever there is difference, there is division.
The good news is this issue is often easily overcome. All it takes is open communication and understanding. When you realize that deep down, you and your spouse both want the same thing and you understand that success requires you to be on the same page 100%, it’s easy to find the common ground that you are both satisfied with. You no longer feel constrained by the savings habits or overwhelmed by the free-spirit mentality. Together, you determine what success looks like and how you will attain it.
That’s when the magic happens. You cast a vision, create a plan and control your behavior to accomplish it.
Feel like you can’t find the common ground? I’m here to help you and your spouse dig through the emotions and reactions that money incites to find the core desire and motivation for success. If you want to create a unified vision and future for your family, apply to my coaching program here.